Fairy Tale Fathers

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If you want to really appreciate the father figures in your life, try reading a few fairy tales.  Fairy tales bring out the best, and worst, in every character, but the dads in fairy tales are often excessively dull, single minded, and even downright negligent.  Who can blame the stepmother for donning the pointed hat and hopping on her ill-used broom?  After all, somebody’s got to bring the plot home!

But there are exceptions.  There are fathers who are worse than evil, like the ones who try to replace their lost wives with their own daughters (who ought to be reigning from asylums, rather than castles) or those daddy Darwin’s who cunningly pit their sons against each other in cruel, and often deadly, competitions for the throne.  But there are fairy tale fathers who’ve risen from the mire and even earned bit of our respect.  Here are three such prime padres:

1.  Beauty’s Begetter.  Sure, this father’s efforts at bread winning are spurned by shipwrecks and less than trust-worthy business partners; sure most of his brood have grown up selfish and petty; sure he does, in the end, allow his one good child to fall into the clutches of a beast, but hey, she did ask for that rose, thorns and all, and on that promise, her father delivered.  He also grieved and even sickened in her absence, and in some versions, truly wished to die in her stead– could he help it that his Beauty was as stubborn as she was good-hearted?  I think we owe this bedraggled merchant some praise for his compassion, at the very least.

2.  Daddy of a Dozen.  There are more versions of The Twelve Dancing Princesses than there are daughters of this harried king, and he plays a variety of roles in each, but the overall impression is that of a father concerned for the well-being of his girls.  Perhaps he was a bit neurotic about the shoes, and yeah, in some instances, he went overboard with the punishment of those who failed his little sweeties, but honestly, what good father wouldn’t be willing to murder a man who lets his daughters down?  So he’s a bit eccentric; at least he’s an interesting dude, and we’re forced to acknowledge his parental involvement.

3.  Sleepy’s Sire.  Right, so Sleeping Beauty’s dad comes onto the scene in a bumbling, negligent fashion, forgetting to invite the ill-tempered fairy (who is sometimes listed as his own sister!) to his infant daughter’s announcement party, and then, doesn’t quite make it up to her when she does arrive, but when she bestows her bitter curse upon his babe, he does rise up to the occasion.  First, there is his banning of all spindles in the keep, by punishment of death, should anyone endeavor to endanger his dearest.  Next, when fate overruled his precautions, he ordered for his sleeping princess to feel secure in her dreaming, not only by making her comfortable, but also by demurring to the good fairy and allowing her to put to sleep his entire kingdom of servants and pets, all for the sake of his daughter’s future comfort.  Praise to the papa who takes his child’s future into consideration, even when she is unaware.

You can find further examples, especially as you expand your search to the realms of folklore and mythology.  As in life, fairy tale fathers are human, and you’ll find the good, the bad and the apathetic among their ranks.  Today, we celebrate those fathers (real or representative) who’ve contributed to the well being of children everywhere; children who would surely have floundered without a father’s care to light the dark and winding forests of their futures.

beauty and the beast

Books and Brews

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Last month I had the wonderful opportunity to participate as a guest author at the Books and Brews Event put on by the Sweetwater County Library Foundation at The Broadway Theater in Rock Springs, Wyoming.  It was a heck of a time, with wine tasting, auctions, games, blues music and other entertainment, part of which included readings or speeches from five Wyoming authors.  For my part, I read the beginning of my ghost story, Cinder, from Specter Spectacular: 13 Ghostly Tales.  I felt a bit like the odd author out (I did not grow up in Wyoming and haven’t lived here long, nor did I write stories that took place in Wyoming, and was the only strange soul stepping out from the realms of fantasy fiction) still, I was well recieved.  I signed and sold 15 books that evening; one woman even chased me down in the parking lot as I was leaving to get a last minute signed copy of Opal

signing books  

But what I enjoyed most was meeting the other authors at the event, which included C. M. Wendelboe, author of The Spirit Road Mystery trilogy which has strong ties to his long time career as sheriff’s deputy in Gillette, WY and his inspiration from the Lakota people; Diana Allen Kouris, who writes from her own experience growing up on the beautiful Brown’s Park Ranch; Frank Prevedel, who has written about the history of Superior, now a Wyoming ghost town; and Rick Kempa, Wyoming author, poet and Associate Professor at Western Wyoming Community College, teaching writing and honors courses. 

However, the best part of the evening for me was when a young girl approached me on her own to tell me she liked my ghost story and to ask if Opal had any fairies in it, because she really likes fairies.  She was probably no more than nine years old, but was already a lover of books and a bright young lady.  I explained to her about the Fae in my stories, that they are less like Tinker Bell and more like nature spirits with deep and magical ties to the earth.  But the real magic is in her, and in all the youth who challenge the everyday with the infinate aspirations of their imaginations.  She is the reason I write.

fairy with quill

A special thank you to Tim Savage, Library Foundation President, and Bianca Jorgensen, librarian at Sweetwater County Library, for allowing me a spot in this special event!

Writing Dark and the Dark and Bookish Tour

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Jay Wilburn, writer of dark speculative fiction, is heading a tour and documentary on writers who write dark fiction, and how they navigate the world of publishing today.  Learn more about this awesome event, which is in the fundraising stage now.  Meanwhile, I’ve asked Jay to tell us what it means to “write dark.”  Enjoy!

skull on book

Writing Dark by Jay Wilburn

There has to be something different about a person that writes horror. Damaged people might be able to tap the dark back alleys of the mind where these sinister forms of imagination exist. That might be unfair because everyone could be defined as broken or damaged by some exacting measure of judgment. All people have a touch of darkness. Some foster it and some are far more touched than others.

Insane people could have an insight into writing about insanity from a purist view of the “write what you know” school of thought. I might be morbidly curious to read the blog posts and ramblings of a schizophrenic that suddenly does something newsworthy, but reading a fictionalized novel from a true schizophrenic would probably be a tough exercise. Psychopaths certainly know the mind of one from the inside, but might be hard pressed to create a novel about such a character that connects to readers emotionally. Sociopaths could make problematic writers. Borderline sociopaths might make damn good authors. I certainly hope so for my sake.

The problem with this notion is the idea that writing dark would be a sure sign of damage. That hardly seems fair. Many probably suspect as much, but it does not pass the sniff test. It smacks with the stink of censorship and justified preconviction. This damp blanket does not keep a person warm. This sideways logic leads people to try to cure the darkness we see in the world by trying to erase the words and images artists use to discuss what they see.

No, writers of dark fiction have to bridge worlds a bit. There are always outliers. Authors with no damage at all and authors that are writing what they know in splatter punk stories populate the lonely ends of the ever-growing bell curve of published writers. Most are tapping dark potential in their own minds and communicating it back to the ordinary damaged readers in the middle of the curve.

A person who wants to read about gorillas picks up work from biologists and anthropologists. Few assume that a novel from the gorillas themselves is in the works. All the gorilla authors I know have used ghost writers. Ko Ko was a fraud. Pet your kitten and stop selling more books than me. Now if a gorilla ever did manage to write their own book about gorillas, that would be something to buy and get autographed.

Darkness in writing comes down to the requirement of truth. Stephen King wrote on this subject from the standpoint of justifying his use of profanity in his dialogue. Many rising authors have to temper this to get published. King stated that his first requirement in writing was to truth. He felt no obligation to the morality police. He agreed with his mother that profanity was the language of the ignorant. He also believed that writing about ignorant people required being true to their native tongue. King contended that profanity was the language of people hitting their fingers with hammers or being filled with terror too.

As King recounts his memory of the car accident that nearly took his life and damaged him terribly in a literal sense, he recalls the surreal dialogue with the fellow that struck him. I remember reading it and thinking that King was exaggerating because the lines read with the exact voice of one of his characters. Not a specific character from any of the many novels of his I had read, but the lines sang with a harmony that I recognized. The next line in King’s narrative of these events was his thought before he blacked out again “I’m going to be killed by a character right from my own novels.”

He heard it too. The notion of art imitating life is a misinterpretation of really good art speaking truth. King had found the truth in the dialogue of the ignorant until we both were reminded of his fiction when a real person spoke as King had captured their tongue.

There is plenty of light to write about, but the truth is that the there is a lot of darkness in the world too. Authors can give it a soft brush in their writing, but all conflict in any story comes from a touch of darkness. Writers that are really digging for truth are going to have to give the darkness that wraps the truth they seek a much more intimate touch. Speculative fiction in particular gives the author a broader medium to explore the truth about darkness in our world using the tropes of monsters, the worlds of the paranormal, or evil creatures walking around in human skin all around us.

Some people hear stories about women chained in basements in the middle of neighborhoods in walking distance from their homes for ten years and don’t know how to process that. Others hear it and they wonder how many basements have not been discovered yet. Writers around the world are reacting to these glimpses of darkness, by using the tool of the written word. Some are doing it well and some are writing bad torture porn. A few on the end of the bell curve may be writing really good torture porn. Many are using monsters and metaphors to speak the truth about the darkness in a way that lets readers see past it or through it to truths they had not considered. Readers will use horror and other forms of dark fiction as tools to address the disconnect events like this create in the world.

People can’t wrap their minds around real life horrors because they can’t see past the darkness. They can’t flip the page on life to follow the arc past the stubborn present. The darkness in life makes no sense because it is not the entire truth. It is only half a conflict. It is only a piece of the story.

As all stories must have conflict, we are drawn to darkness as writers and readers because it serves a purpose in finding truth in the written word. People are afraid when they care most about the characters. Darkness does not get its own story. The story is about something else and the monster serves to get us there. Good only shines in contrast to the darkness around it that tries to swallow the light, but fails. Randomness scares us in life and targeted darkness scares us from the page. We already feel fear, pain, anger, and rage in our ordinary life. If those things never find voice on the page, there is nothing for readers to do with those emotions. There is no place to find the truth that encapsulates those negative feelings or a full story that gives them context and perspective.

Dark fiction serves an important purpose for writers, readers, damaged people, and ordinary humans. The page can involve ordinary humans in dark places or it can be populated with all manner of speculative creatures. Sometimes the darkness can win in stories because that truth sings with a harmony to the lives of many readers and writers.

I believe it serves for writers to be able to bridge back to the land of the light. As dark as the world may seem and as often as darkness seems to win, there is a truth that light pushes back the darkness even as darkness fails to snuff out the light. This truth can be seen in the flame of a candle, but one must go into a dark place to see this and appreciate its beauty.

As dark writing serves readers, the audience must have the work presented to them. The 2014 Dark and Bookish authors tour and documentary is an attempt to tell the story of the storytellers that are drawn to dark places in search of truth for their fiction. Find out more about the authors involved in this project. Become a part of helping to tell this story because it is the story of the writers and the readers.

It is your story, so help us tell it: 
https://www.facebook.com/DarkAndBookish

Thank you, Jay; lots of intriguing insights about writing dark fiction.  And may you have a horrifyingly successful Dark and Bookish tour!

witch with candle

Wolves and Witches, a book review

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As a fairy tale fanatic, I am thrilled to have had the opportunity to read and review Wolves and Witches, A Fairy Tale Collection by Amanda C. Davis and Megan Engelhardt (otherwise known as the Sisters Grimm).  Here are my thoughts on their collection of tales:

Firstly, I won’t give anything away.  It’s the rule of fairydom.  If you give, you must take, and what could I possibly take from you but a bit of your attention?  And that’s the very fee this collection of fairy tales demands; your unbridled, ill contained, it’s past midnight and the pumpkins are rotting but you don’t give a darn, attention.  The tales are twisted– and knotted and French braided.  But even more entertaining than the unexpected is the voice that carries through this book.  And that is another enchantment; that two voices, those of the Sisters Grimm, can come across as one.  And what a wonderful one!  You won’t care in the least about the magic little man’s name as Davis’s cool, rushing wit carries you along, tossing you into the heroine’s point of view while reintroducing characters you once ignored: “You get a title and a wardrobe and a maid named Marie who is terrified of you until you belch in her presence and then you laugh and she sees your peasant teeth and suddenly you’re both the same.”  You’ve got to love all those gritty little details!

And just as you’re settling back in your cozy bed of straw, Engelhardt will toy with you with her confounding narrative.  Ok, so Little Red was an innocent, nine years old, but what of her teenage years?  And what of a line like this after claiming there was nothing at all sexy about the wolf: “Being eaten was fast and it was hot and it was wet and it was over before I even knew what was happening.”  Perhaps it is Engelhardt who is the bemusing wolf, conniving to ensnare you with her tale!

My only disappointment came with the finish of this intriguing collection.  I would love to see Engelhardt’s A Mouth To Speak The Coming Home (a lovely Hansel and Gretel retelling) spun into a full length novel and I could easily imagine these sisters gathering up gold for a book of poems.  So whether you’re suiting up for a dark quest or craving something sweet to nibble on, you won’t regret this quick and seamless read.rumplestiltskin

Wolves and Witches is available for purchase at:
Amazon  Barnes&Noble  Kobo  OmniLit

Want more fairy tales?  Check out the Fairy Tale Festival going on at World Weaver Press!  Also on Twitter: #FairyTaleFestival

The Bread Crumbs Behind a Beautiful Tale

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As a part of the Fairy Tale Festival hosted by World Weaver Press, I would like to introduce you to Elizabeth Dearnley, author of the short and stunning retelling of Hansel and Gretel, The Sugar House.  The Sugar House can be found, along with a plethora of other beautifully retold fairy tales, in the new Scotland-based magazine, Far Off Places.  I found Elizabeth particularly intiguing, and felt, throughout our email conversations, that I could easily have been sitting down to a cup of tea, completely enthralled in Elizabeth’s tales of her own life, and the stories in her head.  How could you not be charmed by a woman who wanted to grow up to be Sir Lancelot, works in the field of medieval research, and lives in London on a boat?  Interested?  Read on to find out more about Elizabeth and her work:
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Elizabeth, when did you start writing?  What are your favorite genres or favorite topics to write about?

The first thing I concretely remember writing is a play called ‘The Magic Castle’, which I began sitting in my friend’s garden aged 6 using blue-lined paper and a pencil – it was going to be about a family who won a week’s holiday in a mysterious castle, but I only got as far as the journey there, so I never decided in what way it was going to be magic! At primary school we had a fairly freeform curriculum, where you could do your work in any order so long as you got it all done by the end of the week, and I’d basically spend Monday to Friday morning writing stories, and then frantically do my mental arithmetic and everything else on Friday afternoons… I remember writing one about a frost witch who turned people into frost soup and then ate them!

Now, I keep a lot of notebooks, although I’m very bad at finishing things. One idea I’ve kept coming back to over the last few years is translation: how do you translate a word or a concept from one language into another? How do you translate words into a visual image, or into music? How do you know whether one person’s set of thoughts is the same as yours, and what language do you use to translate what’s in your head into theirs? My mother, my sister and I are all synaesthetic, associating colours with numbers and letters, and we all see different colours for different things (and have had lengthy arguments about this in family car journeys!) – this really fascinates me; how can we all see it differently?

Another topic I’d love to write more about is the cycle of the year and the turning of the seasons, and the way we use markers like festivals, and naming the seasons, to make sense of time and our relationship with the natural world. One of my favourite pieces of writing is the medieval poem Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, which talks a lot about that (the Simon Armitage translation is amazing!) – perhaps some sort of reworking of that story will be a future project…

Is The Sugar House your first publication?  Have you written any other fairy tale retellings?

I’ve written a few stories for student magazines, but this is my first proper fiction publication. However, I’ve published various other types of writing – I research and teach medieval literature for a living, and I’m actually just putting together the final bits and pieces of a book on medieval translators, which should be coming out some time in 2014. I also worked as a freelance journalist in Shanghai for a year before going to graduate school, where I was mainly a visual arts critic, but I wrote about all kinds of things, from street performers to fantasy architecture.

I have written a few other fairy tale retellings – I’ve done a version of Rapunzel where the hair takes on a life of its own, and have been playing about with a version of Little Red Riding Hood set in 1940s New York… I’m in the process of putting together a collection of these, but it’s coming along quite slowly!

Lately my personal interest in fairy tales has also begun to overlap with my professional work, which I’m very happy about! This year I started teaching an undergraduate course on the history of fairy tales, and my academic research project is on medieval fairy tales, essentially – I’m looking at a group of twelfth-century stories known as Breton lais, which are short, rhymed stories about love, chivalry and the supernatural, supposedly based on traditional Breton tales. The first surviving ones were written by a woman called Marie de France – we don’t really know anything about her other than her name, but obviously a woman writing at that time is quite unusual, and I’d really love to write some fiction about her and her stories at some point!

I would love for you to write about her as well, that sounds really interesting!  Do the Breton Lais you are studying have any similarities to the fairy tale romances we are most familiar with today, such as Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, ect?

The stories as a whole aren’t ones modern readers would recognise, but there are certainly some similar motifs – the theme of the nobly-born child separated from her parents at birth and eventually reunited with them, for instance, is the main plot of Lay le Freine, which tells the story of twin sisters, Freine (Ash tree) and Codre (Hazel tree), one of whom is sent secretly as a baby to be brought up by an abbess, and is eventually reunited with her mother after she recognises some costly brocade that her daughter was originally hidden with. There are several mysterious fairy woman who meet knights in woods and promise them their love, and magical knights that turn into birds – all the sorts of characters you might find in later fairy tales. There’s also a wonderful group of werewolf tales, where a knight known as Bisclavret is able to shape-shift into a wolf and back, until his wife hides the clothes he needs to turn back into a human and he is threatened with being fixed permanently in wolf form. The final tale in Marie de France’s collection, Eliduc, has a slight similarity to Snow White, in that a beautiful girl lies unconscious in a chapel, is mourned over by the hero, and is eventually revived – however, in this story, she is brought back to life by a magical red flower found by a weasel!

However, there are some more definite medieval forerunners of fairy tales that are familiar to us today. For instance, there’s an eleventh-century Latin version of Little Red Riding Hood, ‘De puella a lupellis seruata’ (‘About a girl saved from wolf cubs’), written as part of an educational poem by a cathedral school teacher called Egbert of Liège, in which a little girl’s red cloak, given to her at her baptism, protects her from being eaten by wolves. You can also find two recognisable versions of Sleeping Beauty, in which Beauty gives birth to a child whilst asleep! – a Catalan one called ‘Frayre de Joy e Sor de Plaser’ (‘Brother of Joy and Sister of Pleasure’), and a French one called ‘Histoire de Troylus et de la belle Zellandine’ (‘The Story of Troylus and the Beautiful Zellandine’), which is an episode in a huge, sprawling fourteenth-century romance called Perceforest.

What led you to your research and work with Medieval manuscripts?

I’ve always loved Arthurian legends – they’re some of the earliest things I can remember reading – and I grew up wanting to be either Sir Lancelot or Robin Hood, so I suppose the interest was always there! However, I really decided to study the Middle Ages after I took an undergraduate course in Old Icelandic literature, which I found absolutely fascinating – and after that took courses in Old French, Old English and Middle English, until before I knew it I was essentially taking a degree in medieval languages…

I also really love working with medieval manuscripts – the ornate illuminated ones are unbelievably beautiful, and even the plainer ones have fascinating stories to tell. The whole concept of the book is quite different in a world where texts circulated in manuscripts rather than in print – there wasn’t the same idea of having one fixed version of a text. If you didn’t like a certain part of a story, you could miss that bit out when you commissioned your copy, or, alternatively, you could embellish or add episodes if you wanted!

Let’s hear a little more about your retelling of Hansel and Gretel.   I’ve heard a few tales about the magnificence of English gardens, so I have to ask, how did living in England affect your telling of The Sugar House?  And do you garden?

 When I was a student living in London, I used to spend a lot of time walking around the ItalianGardens in Regent’s Park, which are very formally laid out, with stone fountains and long walkways, and there’s also a circular rose garden at one end of the park – so this might have been one of the original influences. Another set of gardens which has influenced me, I’d say, are all the college gardens in Cambridge, where I was a graduate student – you walk around the town and see all these high, sandstone walls, which don’t give any hint of what’s inside – and then you go through the gates of the colleges, and there are these exquisite, jewel-like gardens hidden inside – really magical!

However, the gardens which have influenced me probably come as much from literature as from real life. There are a lot of gardens in medieval literature, and a lot of roses – in particular, one of the most popular works of the Middle Ages was a long French poem called The Romance of the Rose, which is an allegory about a man who dreams that he’s in a beautiful, perfectly square garden, with a rose bush in the middle, containing a perfect rosebud – this rosebud represents his love, and he spends the rest of the poem trying to get to it. In medieval literature, the garden was a sort of half-way house between the civilised world and the unknown, untameable wilderness outside, a versatile stage set which could represent both nature tamed and nature tangled, and quickly change from one to the other without warning, so you never knew just what might happen to you in a garden…

Roses, too, aren’t always benign – they can represent love, but also the excesses of love, and love gone too far – they’re fleshy, heavily scented, voluptuous, and can be overpowering. One other fictional rose which probably did have an influence on me was the one in Angela Carter’s ‘The Lady in the House of Love’, which is a brilliant crimson rose taken from a vampire woman by a soldier heading to the front in the First World War – she describes its petals as opulent and beautiful but also baleful and overpowering, and that ambivalence was something I was trying to capture in the witch’s garden.

Thinking about English landscapes more generally, one thing which has always stuck with me about the difference between English fairy tales, and those of other places like continental Europe and the US, is our lack of real, scary forests you can get lost in – they’re simply not big enough, so the idea of Hansel and Gretel, for instance, is always only a story here – it doesn’t have the same real-life resonance as it might do for those living near truly big forests. I remember reading that by the time of the Domesday Book in the eleventh century, woodland in Britain had already been cleared to the extent that you couldn’t go more than two miles in any direction without popping out the other side!

I do garden – although it’s been quite limited space-wise recently, as I live on a canal boatl! Last year my boyfriend and I attempted to grow vegetables on the roof, but they were sabotaged by a duck, who decided to build a nest right in the middle of our courgette patch – however, we recently put our names down for an allotment, so hopefully we’ll be able to grow our courgettes duck-free in the future.
Wait a minute, you live on a boat?!

I’m actually about to move to a new, bigger boat in a few weeks.  Here is a picture of me and my boat (called Peggotty) :)

Elizabeth and Peggotty

Elizabeth and Peggotty

Ok, that is just too cool for words!  But back to The Sugar House.  I love the idea of a villain who does serious harm in her intent to protect the innocent.  Very twisted, perfect for a fairy tale.  What was your inspiration for the old woman’s madness?

I wanted to tell the story of Hansel and Gretel from a different perspective, and I wanted us to find out the villain’s point of view… I was wondering why the witch killed the children in the first place – was it something innately witchy about her, or did she have an explanation for her behaviour? I think it did also stem from the original images of the roses, and the idea of love turning into an excess of love, from something sweetly scented into something browning and rotting. I was thinking along the same lines with the sugar house itself – it tastes sweet and delicious, but too much of it can be cloying and sickening.

I was also thinking about the witch as a distorted mirror image of the stepmother in Hansel and Gretel – both are ‘bad mother’ figures, and deadly to the children, but in very different ways. Both rationalise their behaviour towards the children as being the only possible course of action, given the circumstances – and I wanted to explore that.

Well you certainly did a beautiful job with the retelling!  I may never look at sweet, little old women with particularly stunning rose gardens the same way after this tale!  Thank you so much for the interview, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Dearnley grew up in Bradford and currently lives in London, where she can generally be found studying thirteenth-century manuscripts in the British Library and writing a book about medieval translators.  She likes Agatha Christie, crunchy autumn leaves, and raspberry pancakes with maple syrup.  Her superpower is knitting in cinemas.

If you’d like to read The Sugar House for yourself, click here to read your own copy of Issue 1 of Far Off Places.
books and quill

Fairy Tale Festival

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Join World Weaver Press in celebration of all things fairy tale; mad hatters and spiked tea are most welcome!  And do check out the After Ever After singing parody on their website (I think I just snorted).  Also, in honor of this lovely event, I am giving away a signed copy of Opal on Goodreads!  Check out #FairyTaleFestival on Twitter as well, and speak your mind about your favorite ”happily ever afters.”

Then, check back here on the 19th for my interview of one of the contributing authors to the wonderful first issue of Far Off Places, which, by the way, is stuffed to the brim with fairy tale retellings, poetry and art.  You may gorge on it here.

Happy Reading!
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Pay no attention to the mom behind the curtain…

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I just spent the last 20 minutes or so counting to 1,000.  Why?  Because I have a five year old.  Actually, I’ve told him no so many times I finally sighed, found a comfortable chair, and said, “Are you ready for this?”  And he enjoyed every tedious minute of it.  I’m telling you this because I know a lot of readers like to know what their authors are up to.  And I’m one of them.  When I find my way back to Kansas after a book as mind-blowing as Dorothy Gale’s twister, half my conscious still wandering the yellow brick road, I can’t help but wonder What’s that author up to now?  What else does this Wonderful Wizard have stowed away in that bag?  The great and powerfuls seem to be saying that to keep up with publishing demands today, authors are expected to put out at least two full length novels a year.  And when I hear things like that, I think to myself they can’t have young children!

Well, maybe they can.  And maybe they’re on the brink of going raving mad!  I was, about a month ago.  I was working on three novels, and countless short stories.  So where are they, you ask?  Incubating, in the deep, far corners of space my mind.  Meanwhile, my almost three year old is working his way out of diapers, I’ve begun charting our reactions to some exotic produce we’ve been taste testing (I’m not a fan of pepino melons, by the way), I just set up a live ant farm, and I’ve begun reading the classic Dr. Dolittle to my little animals.  And in the moments when both boys are interacting in a way that doesn’t foretell a field trip to the hospital, I am drowning in research.   So while serving as chambermaid for my toddler, I’m also reading up on the lives of medieval nuns.  And while training my monkeys to scribble letters in a dusting of Ovaltine, I am engrossed in the mother-child bond between wild orangutans in Borneo.  The secluded nuns may find a home in my sequel to Opal, while the nurturing orangs are making a debut in a short story I hope you’ll be hearing more about soon.  There is also the lovely author from England I’ve been sharing emails with for an interview that will be up later this month, I’ve been prepping myself for a public reading of Cinder at a local theater on April 25th, and I’m also reading a sweet collection of fairy tales I’m soon to review.  This is all taking place after completing a SciFi/Romance at 99K words.  Completing, as in, writing the last sentence.  I ‘ve been having nightmares about avalanches and cave-ins, which I attribute to the God-awful amount of editing that lies in wait for me.

But I’m excited about all of it!  Insanely so.  So relax, and ignore the raving mom behind the smoke and curtains.  Oz is prepping for another round of entertainment, coming just as soon as I fall into bed…

wizard of oz original

Far Flung Words

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Little Red Riding Hood; a fairy tale that has fascinated and infuriated me.  I have struggled for so long with the twisted, crimson leads of this yarn.  I kept loosing my way in that flower studded forest, and even got roped into long and demented conversations with a lonely old woman over tea.  For years I lay on her rotting roof, searching the stars beyond the dense canopy for answers.  Was it wolf or man?  And who was that child in red, really?  Could she have been a Native American medicine woman on a mythical journey to her future?  Or perhaps a delinquent teen who found refuge in her estranged grandmother’s cabin?  As with any fairy tale, the possibilities are daunting.  But nothing I wrote spun the true tale of grief and beauty I knew was at its heart.  Until I wrote Bone Tree.

Bone Tree started out as an unsatisfactory poem, but the story it told was just the right one.  I decided to flesh it out a bit, alter it from poem to short prose, and there she stood, the grown woman with a broken past, finally able to hang up her old cloak for the last time.  I sent Bone Tree off to a promising literary magazine that was only just starting up; Far Off Places.  Far off for me, indeed– they are based in Edinburgh, Scotland!  Acceptance was such a thrill, and knowing that my little piece would be read half a world away made it that much more exciting!  Today I am reading Issue 1 for the first time.  The poetry, stories and gorgeous art within are all themed to retold fairy tales (for this issue), and every piece is rich and deserving.  I implore you, beg you, dare you to take a stroll through this dark and delightful Far Off land.  And do bring your axe, just in case.

wolf

Diagnosing a Writer’s Soul

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Apparently, I’m suffering from depression.  And probably have been for at least a few years now.  I’ve been going it raw, no meds, no therapy (although my mom could argue that), not even a sleep aid.  It’s like tiptoeing through a blizzard without any clothes on.  Talk about the “blues;” more like whole body frost bite, about to loose a limb.  I too often find myself at a standstill, curled up against a drift, alternately sobbing and swearing.  Yet I have the gall to wonder, is this such a bad place to be?

What I’m asking is if happiness should really be a goal in life.  No, hear me out.  I’m not an advocate of suffering unnecessarily, and now I know first hand how completely depression can take over not only one’s mind and physical body, but worst of all, the sense of self.  I am finally almost ready to consider help.  Almost.  But there is something here to learn from, too, and a part of me is afraid that if I smother any of these feelings, even the worst of them, that I will be disconnecting a part of me.  Can a dense down coat replace your own skin?  Should I blanket my raving mind with comfort and a chemically induced sense of control, when maybe there is something vital about this pain?  Messy can be beautiful.  Frustration can be fruitful.  Hurt can motivate.  It can hinder, too.  And I see that in my lesser cognitive abilities, in my overly emotional responses to every day frustrations, in an ongoing nightmare that never lets me sleep, and a body that is falling apart.  And yet, I wonder…

Emotions are intimate little slivers of self.  And there is an aspect of me, the writer in me, that cannot help dislocating herself, and staring back with a kind of clinical scrutiny.  Like a doctor callously accessing her own demise: excessive fatigue, memory loss, chronic digestive upset, joint pain, dizziness, daily headaches, insomnia, decreased concentration… and at least a dozen medical tests that have all come back “normal.”  So this is what it’s like, the woman in the mirror says to herself.  This is how it feels.  Do I really want to seal up this wound?  Amputate this life-limb that has begun to fester?  It’s dramatic.  It’s interesting.  It has given me new insight not only into the people around me, but the characters in my stories.  It has even been the fuel for my latest work; a SciFi Romance that confronts issues of morality, mortality, and the apathy of a world that refuses to halt, no matter how we kick and scream and try, at last, to disappear. 

I know I owe it to myself to get some kind of help, likely via prescription medication, but the writer in me resists.  She begs to study, even this.  It’s a writer’s duty, after all, to observe and reflect, to ponder and explore.  Because a writer isn’t a person, she is all people.  And while I am not likely to choose Ms. Plath’s ending, I greatly admire her persistent dissection of self and the unabashed and absurdly beautiful work that came from such an inward focused eye.  She has written all that I strive to conquer, and so much of what I am:

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.”

sad study

Toads in a Well

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“Writing, at best, is a lonely life,” Ernest Hemmingway complained, and somehow, despite our modern cacophony of blogs, tweets, texts, and FB statuses, I mostly agree.  But I also believe that writers are the epitome of socialization, as they reach far deeper into the human heart than most.  Not through daily tweets or status updates, but through passionate writing, some of which is even expressed in short articles and on personal blogs.  Yesterday I read a blog post by a fellow contributing author to Specter Spectacular, Jay Wilburn, and I was immediately, and tearfully, tugged into his world.  He has two sons, one requiring a little extra care, as do I.  He has just made the incredulous and life-altering decision to be a stay at home parent, as I did, with the birth of my first born.  And he has devoted his blessedly few moments of quiet to writing like hell.  I am not alone in my ludicrous aspirations.

I didn’t realize publication could actually launch me into a new community.  Welcome to Composition Heights, said World Weaver Press.  Start a blog, take a stroll over to Goodreads, knock back a latte at Barnes and Noble.  The neighborhood is new, but we’re growing fast (Welcome, Megan Engelhardt).  Now when I open up my laptop, I find myself nodding and waving to my online neighbors.  They are people I may never meet in “real life;” at social, spiritual, geographical distances negated by our shared portal.  We are all just toads in a dark well, blinking in the quiet as we mull over the precious gems in our heads.  Every now and then, one spits out a beauty; a glittering, new release, a golden review, a faceted book signing, and it’s hard not croak out a note of chorus at the sight of such worth.  And sometimes, we might even chance upon the same patch of slime in our ordinary lives.  

While downing a few Excedrin after reconstructing a complicated scene for my latest novel, I got to glimpse the amazing new cover art for Amalia Dillin’s soon to be released Forged By Fate.  It took my breath away.  A glorious reminder of what we are all striving for.  It’s good to know others are out there, conjuring romance, comedy, horror and fantasy from the murky well water we call home.  Like a flash of sunlight to warm my bones.

toads and moon

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